Untitled
Valeria Mancera
I am interested in the longing for home and spaces that are stored in my memories. The house that I lost forever continues to live on in me. This place from childhood is in my mind and insists to me to live again. I consider the past, and I reflect on not having lived profoundly enough in the old house that fills my heart. These memories of home expect to breathe through my paintings, I feel the need to recapture this site through my daydreams. I fear that bit by bit my home in Caracas will be lost in the mists of time, and I visualize it as a shadow, or perhaps as a falling brushstroke. The weight of not having my home and family near me is scattered inside of me —the rooms, the stairs in my grandfather’s home that descended with such ceremonious slowness, narrow cages mounted in a spiral motion, in the darkness of which I walk today knowing I won’t see it again. It is this weight that I attempt to free through painting. In other words: my work is not about seeing or inventing, but about revealing a version of my reality through the distortions of my memory.
While spending time reading and working on my writing in this transitional period, I have come not to a certain wisdom but perhaps to a certain sense. I ask myself, what does being a painter mean to me? I suppose it comes down to simply being true to my imagination and to my history. When I paint something, I think of it not as being factually true, but as being true to something deeper. When I treat a surface, I treat it because somehow I believe in it—not as one believes in mere history, but rather as one believes in a dream or an ideal. That’s something that painting does for me that no other format can. I merely try to convey what the dream is. And if the dream is a dim one (in my case, it usually is), I do not try to beautify, or even to understand it, I just trust that moment.
After leaving my country, Venezuela, I am confronted with the impossibility of return. My assembled drawing and paintings are the medium in which I explore how I remember sites, and how I visualize forgotten or imagined places as I navigate my experience of geographical migration and its aftereffects. The construction of memory is central to my inquiries, but equally vital are the sites we have imagined or forgotten and where images of these places are stored or housed. These memories of home expect to breathe through my paintings, I feel the need to recapture this site through my daydreams. Sense of place and displacement hold both the real and the imaginary and my practice depicts what this might look like. My work is not about seeing or inventing, but about revealing a version of my reality through the distortions of my memory.
I am interested in longing for home and spaces that are stored in my memories. The house that I lost forever continues to live on in me. This place from childhood is in my mind and insists to me to live again. I consider the past, and I reflect on not having lived profoundly enough in the old house that fills my heart. I fear that bit by bit my home in Caracas will be lost in the mists of time, and I visualize it as a shadow, or perhaps as a falling brushstroke. The weight of not having my home and family near me is scattered inside of me —the rooms, the stairs in my grandfather’s home that descended with such ceremonious slowness, narrow cages mounted in a spiral motion, in the darkness of which I walk today knowing I won’t see it again. It is this weight that I attempt to free through painting.